#21 | Helping Your Soul Feel Whole | Robert White

It's watering time, everybody.

It is time for Apollos Watered, a podcast to saturate your faith with the things of God so that you might saturate your world with the good news of Jesus Christ.

My name is Travis Michael Fleming, and I am your host.

And today we are having a deep conversation with my friend, Dr.

Robert White.

Robert is a pastoral counselor at Care for Pastors in Leesburg, Florida.

Care for Pastors is a ministry dedicated to see every pastoral family persevering in ministry, developing a healthy church, and leading in community transformation.

They are committed to providing a safe place for pastors and their families to receive encouragement, counsel, and help with resources that ignite growth in the pastor's family, church, and community.

Robert is from sunny Central Florida and did his undergraduate studies at the University of Central Florida with a Master's of Divinity and Doctorate of Ministry at Luther Rice seminary in Atlanta, Georgia.

Married to his wife, Kay, he has three kids, six grandchildren, eight great grandchildren.

I invite you to listen in to this conversation that Robert and I had as we talk about soul care and the necessity of taking care of our souls at all stages and times in life.

Happy listening.

Well, Robert White, welcome to Apollos Watered.

Travis, great to be with you today.

It's great to have you on the show.

Now, before we get into this, we're going to be talking about soul care.

We have a little bit that we call Fast 5.

So they are five things about you, just to get to know you a little bit.

And I'm going to ask you a question.

It may be a this or that kind of question or maybe just a short answer, but five things.

Are you ready?

I'm ready.

Okay, number one, we're going to start simple.

IPhone or Android?

Android, definitely.

Why do you say definitely?

Well, it's got a system that works really well together.

And so my phone, my computer, tablets are all Android.

They work and play nicely.

Oh, nice.

Okay, there we go.

All right, here.

Question number two.

We're going to get a little bit younger now.

DC or Marvel?

Marvel.

Why?

Because I really like all the superheroes and the movies that are coming out.

Oh, that's good.

That's good.

Okay, how about this one then?

Old movie or a new movie?

Old movie.

Okay.

Why?

Primarily because I enjoy the nostalgia I enjoy in the movies.

I really enjoy seeing the old cars and the way people dressed in times past and their Manners and customs and language, and it's a lot of fun to go back and relive that.

Oh, good.

Okay.

All right, here we go.

Here's another one.

Favorite ethnic food and why.

Oh, my goodness.

I absolutely love Mexican food if it's authentic.

And I like it because of the spicy taste.

It doesn't always like me, but I do like it.

That's good.

Yeah.

So Taco Bell doesn't count?

No, Taco Bell is off the menu.

Okay.

And here we go.

Here's one odd habit that you have that your spouse or kids say is weird.

Oh, my goodness.

I think probably it's, I clean my ears with my small finger.

Okay, well, let's transition.

I mean, I asked, right?

You ask a question, and you shouldn't be surprised by the answer.

Yeah, that's.

That's.

That's probably what they would say.

You know, he cleans his ear with his small finger.

I love it.

I love it.

You know, we all got our thing.

You know, we all have our thing, so.

So it's great to have you on the show.

And I.

You've been a pastor, You're a pastoral counselor.

And I wanted to talk about soul care and just the care for pastors.

Now, I gave a brief bit of a bio before the show started on Care for Pastors, but can you just elaborate really quick on what care for Pastors is and what you guys do exactly?

Sure.

Now, the real ministry of Care for Pastors is exactly the title we pastor Pastors.

We minister to pastors and their families.

The question is, where does the pastor turn when he's in a crisis?

Where does he turn when he's struggling?

Where does he turn when his church is in conflict?

Where does he turn when there's challenges in his ministry?

That's the questions that we need to ask.

And we're trying to be that safe place for a pastor to turn and really be able to process the challenges of ministry with a counselor, with someone who's safe, with someone who doesn't have any agenda or anything to gain, someone who just really wants to see that pastor well, healthy, strong, and thriving.

And if I.

If I understand this correctly, you guys don't just work with the pastors.

You work actually with the pastor's family.

So I understand there's ministry to pastors wives as well as pastor children.

Is that right?

Yeah.

As far as we know, we're the only ministry that has A comprehensive program to minister to the whole pastor's family.

And often, you know, the pastor's wife is neglected, she's isolated, and she has no one to turn to.

Pastors kids have their own set of unique challenges.

Sometimes they're going through a faith crisis and it's really tough on them.

So we, we have designed ministry to help in every aspect of the family, the pastor, his wife and his children.

Now, with a lot of the different things going on with COVID there's been a lot of stress on pastors because they can't meet with their churches or they've had to go with whatever the restrictions are by the government when it comes to masks and social distancing.

And I know that's taken a toll.

We've conversed about this before, but it's taken a toll on a lot of the pastors.

What are you seeing right now among pastors as you're interacting with him because of what's going on with COVID and the restrictions and everything else?

Travis I'm just overwhelmed with the pastors who are just exhausted.

I mean, they're telling me that they're exhausted.

And here's one of the things that they're dealing with.

They have no idea what to do next.

They're facing challenges that no class in seminary could have prepared them for.

They're facing things that all of us are facing in the pandemic.

And, you know, none of us have been through this before.

We were all facing it with brand new perspectives, and it's challenged us.

I don't think there's an area of our lives that hasn't been affected by this Covid crisis.

Unfortunately, the crisis has spilled over into the church and people are divided in the church.

You know, do I wear a mask?

Do I not wear a mask?

Do I believe this?

Do I not believe it?

Do I think this whole thing is a hoax?

And when you have people in the church that have extremely different viewpoints on, on all of these things, the pastor is there and they're looking to him to take a stand on something.

And he knows that no matter what he does, he's going to make somebody mad.

So it's really an exhausting time.

It's a tough time to be a leader in the church.

Now, I know many of these guys are struggling just because of what you said, trying to figure out how to lead.

And I think, though, that we're also seeing there's a lot of people that are, are.

They're alone, they are alone with their thoughts.

They're out of their normal routines, maybe they've lost a job, maybe they're facing health issues.

And a lot of these pastors are trying to figure out, how do we help people take care of their souls?

And I know that you and I've conversed before about this, that there are a lot of pastors out there that know how to run the ministry, but yet haven't taken care of their own souls.

And it's my contention that as so goes the pastor, so goes to the church.

And so what are some of these soul care practices that you really encourage pastors?

And by that same relationship, or the token of that same relationship that people should implement into their lives in order to really take care of their souls, which is the first priority.

Right.

You know, Travis, it's so important to take care of yourself, because if you don't take care of yourself, you're not going to be in a healthy place so that you can take care of others.

You know, I have a friend that was in the Coast Guard, and he was telling me one day, he said, you know, when I was being trained to take my own boat, my first boat, he said, I was taken out by this captain, and he was showing me, literally showing me the ropes, and he was trying to help me determine what would be the next step in my training as a, as a boat captain.

And here's what he said to him.

This captain said to my friend, he said, listen, don't ever put your own boat in jeopardy, because if you put your boat in jeopardy, you cease becoming a rescuer.

And now you're the one needing to be rescued.

That application really follows in taking care of yourself.

You know, if you don't take care of yourself, then you're the one who's going to need to be rescued.

You can't continue taking care of others if you yourself are burned out.

If you're trying to minister to others and you're running on empty, it's not a good thing.

It's just going to lead to a crash in ministry.

And we're seeing this all over the place.

So taking care of yourself.

Here's one thing I would say to pastors and to anybody.

It is not selfish to take care of you.

It's really important that people understand it is not a selfish thing to take care of yourself.

So one of the things that I really encourage people to do is search out a small group of friends with whom you can have true community.

You know, I have a small group of men that I meet with on a regular basis.

And they just enrich my life.

All of us need that.

And I'm not talking about being on zoom.

There's a different dynamic that takes place when you're meeting in person.

Yes, I want you to be safe.

I want you to have social distancing.

Yes, I think it's important to wear masks and, you know, take care of yourself and take care of others.

But it's important to have person to person social interaction.

It is part of mental health.

It's part of your emotional health, and believe it or not, it's part of your spiritual health.

So you need a small group of people that you meet with on a regular basis.

So that's number one.

I would say number two is, you know, you can't neglect your time alone with God, Carve out time for God.

You can't neglect that and remain healthy in your relationship with the Lord or with other people.

So carve that time out.

Don't neglect it.

It's easy when you're in a crisis to overlook to time alone with God.

But I believe crisis is one of the things that should drive us to the Lord.

And so carve that time out.

It's so important.

You know, one thing that I would say also particularly to pastors is make an appointment with your wife on a weekly basis.

Have a date night and put it on the calendar.

If it's a priority, put it on the calendar and make sure it happens.

You don't want to be neglecting that main relationship, the most important human relationship on the planet, and you don't want to be neglecting that during this pandemic.

Make sure that you carve out that time.

And you know, we believe and teach here at Care for Pastors that all healthy ministry flows from a healthy marriage.

And so making that appointment with your wife on a weekly basis, that's really important.

And the same thing goes for investing in your children.

We will never be sorry for investing in our kids and making sure that they know they're loved, they're secure, they're cared for, making time for them.

Don't neglect them.

Spend that time with them.

And I've never heard a pastor say, I'm sorry that I've spent too much time with my kids.

I've never heard that said.

And so we really encourage people, carve out that time for your kids as well.

Travis, I think you and I have talked about this.

Discover some things that renew your soul and make time for that.

One of the things that renos renews my soul is listening to classical music that's that's really done with excellence.

I was at a.

At a wedding recently, and I was not there as the officiant.

I was a guest, and I was enjoying the music that was being played.

There was a live harpist there who was playing classical music.

It was absolutely beautifully and skillfully done.

And I came from.

Away from that wedding and the reception just energized.

And I told my wife at the time, I said, I don't know why, but I'm just feeling so energized.

And I was later able to trace it back to that classical music.

And it just renewed my soul.

So I made note of that.

And that's one of the things that on a regular basis, I try to do to renew my own soul.

So find out what it is that renews your soul.

Maybe it's a walk in the mountains.

Maybe it's a time at the beach.

Maybe it's just going and playing games with your friends.

I mean, just whatever it is that renews your soul, do that.

Practice a hobby.

You know, do the things that are good for your soul.

You need to do that so you can take care of others.

Any comments about that, Travis?

Yeah, no.

It's interesting that you mentioned going back to your original points about a small group of people and then carving out that time with God.

Don't neglect your spouse or your kids.

I was reading in Billy Graham's a book that Billy Graham had written.

I can't remember what it is right now off the top of my head, but he was talking about regrets in his life.

And one of the things that he said was, is he said, I did all this ministry and can't even begin to comprehend how we went from one state to the next and sometimes one continent to the next in just a few days.

He said, but that pace that I kept, it makes, looking back, I wonder, was that really necessary?

Did I really need to do all of those things?

And his real conclusion was, no.

Like, he understood that God had called him to be an evangelist.

He was grateful for that.

But he said, I should have spent more time in reading the Word of God, letting the Word read me, praying and being with my children.

And then one of the statements that really haunted me is when he said, I can't get those days back.

And I.

And I think that's so true.

And I have found that since COVID has occurred, I've tried to look at it as an opportunity rather than as a burden.

And I have an opportunity to connect with my kids in a greater way, to Be with them, to get to know them.

And of course we get at each other's throats all the time.

My boys are fighting over the phone or wanting to play among us or whatever they're doing.

And sometimes I'm looking for a place to retreat.

And in my house, we have all four kids home right now.

And so it's a bit of a mad house right now.

But I've enjoyed those quiet moments with each child at some point in time, to be alone, to get a hug, to do an activity we've not done before, and to get to know them and have them get to know me.

And so I see these as precious moments, trying to just redeem that and really enjoy.

Because I think at the end of the day, I look at this and I go, well, God has allowed this for a reason.

And what is that reason?

What is that reason?

But I've also spoken with you about soul care among pastors and the need for pastors to do a lot of this.

But you're also seeing a lot of struggle in churches right now trying to figure out how to go on, what are we to do, what does the future hold?

And some pastors are facing an unexpected transition because of or the crisis has brought out transitions that were issues that were already on in the church.

What are you seeing right now among pastors?

Are you seeing pastors leaving the pastorate, staying in the pastorate, or just being exhausted?

What are you seeing right now?

Yeah, well, all three of those things, Travis.

We're seeing resignations at an all time high and pastors are just so exhausted and they're walking away from the ministry.

They're resigning in unprecedented numbers.

I'll tell you something else that's really happening.

And a lot of this can be at least partially blamed on the COVID crisis.

There's a lot of forced terminations among pastors.

Churches are, are firing their pastors, they're getting rid of them.

And sometimes it's because they just don't understand what's happening in the life of the pastor.

And sometimes it's a power grab.

You know, people take crisis and they turn it into a power grab and they get rid of the pastor and they've see a chance to do that and they take it.

And we've seen all kinds of forced terminations.

And of course that's traumatic for the pastor and his family.

So we're seeing those kinds of things.

But as you mentioned, the biggest thing is pastors are just exhausted.

They're so tired.

The drain upon them mentally, emotionally, and spiritually is just overwhelming for them.

And so we're trying to help them to back up and before they make critical decisions, rethink, what are you doing to take care of yourself.

Very often the reason these pastors are exhausted is because they failed to take time to take care of themselves.

They're so busy trying to minister to the needs of others that they neglect their own soul.

And that's a recipe for disaster.

So if we can talk to them, we can help them to back up, take some time to examine the situation and realize that, yes, God is in the midst of this.

And God always redeems what he allows.

He has a plan and a purpose.

I see this entire Covid crisis as a wake up call to the church.

You know, Travis, you and I have talked a little bit about this, but one of the things that's being exposed in the church is the lack of maturity among the members.

You know, they're fighting with each other over whether or not to wear a mask.

Now, can you imagine coming to church to worship the most high God?

And what's on your mind is whether or not people are wearing masks.

It just is crazy that people don't have the maturity to love one another right where people are, you know, not everybody's going to be in the same place and not everybody's going to be at the same maturity level.

So, you know, we just really try to encourage our pastors.

Love people right where they are, serve them right where they are, and really be patient with them, just like God is patient with us.

We also need to be aware of the lens that's created by this Covid crisis.

Covid makes everything look bigger, harder, longer, more difficult than it really is.

It creates a lens through which we view life.

And just being aware of that lens that everything looks bigger and harder than it really is.

So we try to encourage them be aware of that lens that colors everything and really take care of yourself, take time for soul care, for self care.

You know, I've talked to several different pastors and the constant theme that I'm hearing is, yes, they are tired, they are frustrated.

And they said this is the most difficult time of ministry many of them had ever seen.

Just because of a lot of the other social unrest that's been there, all the politics, all of the news.

And then you put Covid and all those things on top of it.

As a church member or a person who's attending services or is interacting with the pastor, what can people, people that are in the pew or in the church, what can they do to really help their pastor during this time?

Well, here's one thing that's really important.

Find something about your pastor that you can encourage him.

You know, I've said recently to other church members, I said, listen, there is no way that you can give your pastor too much encouragement.

Send him a note, make a phone call, openly and publicly encourage your pastor.

Tell him that, you know, it's a hard season, it's a difficult time, and that you appreciate his faithfulness and his steadfast leadership.

You know, be sure to encourage your pastor.

That's really important.

And I would say this.

I think it's very important to recognize that there's a spiritual war taking place and the enemy of our souls is trying to take people out, and his main target is the pastor.

If he can take the pastor down, then he can affect the whole church.

So realize that there's a spiritual war and dedicate some extra time to praying for your pastor and for his family.

Listen, anything that affects the pastor affects the pastor's family.

So pray for him.

Pray for his wife, pray for his children, and ask God to give them strength to encourage them, to give them peace.

In the midst of this, realize that some of the decisions that he's having to make are the toughest decisions of his life.

And be patient with him.

Encourage him.

These are just some of the things that they can do.

You know, it goes a long way when you just take the time to say, pastor, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you and your leadership and just encourage them and let them know that they're there by God's design and you're praying for them.

Let them know that.

Find a verse of scripture and just share it with them as a word of encouragement.

These are things that you can do.

It also doesn't help.

It doesn't hurt if you can help them with a financial gift.

You know, just say, hey, here's a gift.

Take your wife out for dinner and you all go and enjoy some time together.

You know, those kinds of thoughtful things really help the pastor and help him to persevere when things get really tough.

You know, those are so true.

I.

I can testify that to my own life.

So many times I received a note of encouragement and I would put it in my top drawer of my desk and just refer back to it when times got tough.

And to.

To know that people were praying for me to.

To receive gifts, had just very giving churches that I've served where they would send my wife and I off to a retreat.

One time for pastoral appreciation, they, they sent us off to a retreat weekend.

They paid for gas, they paid for the coffee on the way to the destination and the restaurants.

And you just feel so loved because you do need that encouragement.

And I'm always afraid when you, you mentioned, you know, send him a Bible verse, that it was going to be something like, Jesus wept.

That's what I'm afraid of, the verse that I'm going to get.

And I know one pastor I heard stand up one time, and I think, I think he said, my, my life verse is Proverbs 30, verse one.

And I thought to myself, what is that?

And he says, I'm a stupid man in all my ways, but it's so essential to have that body around us and to have those, those people upholding us in many ways.

Because those pastors are working hard, they are praying, they are operating outside of what they were trained to do.

They're trying to take care of people's souls and people and, and that's a difficult thing.

Now, one of the things that I know you and I have talked about, and I know that your.

The podcast that Care for Pastors has goes by this name, but I think a lot of pastors, they don't feel worthy oftentimes, they.

They tear themselves down.

So explain just the origin of that phrase and, and even the title, so that the title of the podcast is called you are worthy, right?

Yes, you are worthy is coming from a statement of my identity in Christ.

In other words, the pastor is not worthy because he's skilled.

He's not worthy because he's a dynamic personality.

He's not worthy because of his education or his accomplishments.

He's worthy because of who he is in Christ.

And we have a statement here of my identity in Christ, and I'll just share it with you.

It goes like this.

Because of Christ's redemption, I am a new creation of great worth.

I am deeply loved.

I am completely forgiven.

I'm fully pleasing to the Father, I'm totally accepted by God, and I'm absolutely complete in Christ, and that's who I am.

Here's the wonder of that.

Nothing that happens to me can change any of that, because it's not based on what I do.

It's based on what Christ has done.

So we try to encourage pastors to think about their true identity in Christ.

We want them to know their true identity is what God says about them, not what anybody else says about them.

And it's really easy to forget who you are when you're in the midst of a crisis, when you're facing unique challenges that you've never faced before, you can forget who you are and just feel totally inadequate.

These are the very things pastors are expressing to us.

So we remind them of who they are in Christ and the resources that they have available to them.

What are some of those resources that they have that are available to them?

I mean, are you guys helping with them with tools for coping with this to give them fresh perspective?

I mean, what are some of those resources that are out there that can help encourage them in their journey and by way of relationship, the church?

Yeah, some of the resources are, of course, they can turn to care for pastors.

And we will work with those pastors to give them practical skills, time management skills, priorities and boundaries, knowing what their priorities are, setting those priorities, establishing them again, sometimes a pastor is in the mess because his priorities are out of whack.

You know, he's putting all of his time into caring for other people and no time into caring for his soul.

So his priorities are out of whack.

He's neglecting his wife and his children, so his home is in chaos.

His priorities are out of whack.

So we try to help him get perspective, get his priority priorities back in line, set healthy boundaries.

Healthy boundaries empower you to say no to good things so you can say yes to the best things.

And that is biblical priorities.

God established priorities.

He even established a day off.

You know, six days shall you labor.

But that Sabbath rest, that time off is so vitally important.

So we try to help pastors get that perspective, realize the resources that they have, and really access what God has given to them.

You know, when a pastor feels overwhelmed, I try to remind them, listen, first of all, please remember, God is in control.

He is fully in control of everything that's happening, down to the tiniest detail.

Our Heavenly Father has not left his throne.

He is on his throne.

He is in control.

I was reading in the Psalms this morning about God reigns in heaven and on earth.

He reigns supreme.

He rules the nations.

Our God is fully in control.

And sometimes when you're in the midst of a crisis and everything looks like it's out of control, you forget that God is fully in control.

He's sovereign.

There's not one molecule in the universe that escapes the sovereignty of God.

So we tell them, number one, God's in control.

Number two, God really does love you.

He.

He loves you and he cares about you.

He loves you with an unfailing, unstoppable, relentless love.

And nothing that's happening to you right now escapes his love.

He loves you with an unstoppable, unconditional love.

And so we remind them that God's in control and God loves them.

We remind them thirdly that God is a good God.

He's a good father, he has good plans.

In fact, he's even promised that ultimate good is going to come out of this Crisis.

And Romans 8:28 makes it very clear.

God is working things together for our good.

He's promised that and ultimate good is going to take place.

So we remind pastors, listen, it may be painful, it may be difficult, but God has good plans and he's working out his plan for you.

And then lastly, we like to remind people of this.

God is present with you.

He promised he will never leave you nor forsake you.

It may be difficult to feel his presence right now, but.

But my friend, God has promised he is with you, you are his child.

He will never leave you nor forsake you.

So we remind pastors of that.

We like to remind people of that whenever we're talking with them.

People that are in crisis, looking for answers.

The hope that we need is found in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen.

It's so important to hear those truths and be reminded of them.

And you would think a lot of pastors would hold on to that.

But we all have kind of a short term memory, especially when times get tough.

Why do you think we have such a very difficult time feeling worthy or valuable in the sight of God or forgetting these core truths that God is good, that God is sovereign and that he loves us.

Why is it that we seem to forget?

Get that all the time?

Well, we are surrounded by circumstances that are screaming at us and demanding our attention.

The voices that are in our culture right now are loud and they're shouting and they're shouting at us from every angle.

And many of us are feeling pulled in so many different directions.

And so it's easy to focus your attention on the circumstances when you're being so directly affected.

So you're focusing on these circumstances and they don't look good.

They look very discouraging.

That's why it's important to keep a truth filter in place.

A truth filter will allow you to monitor your thoughts and your feelings and say, okay, I'm feeling pretty discouraged right now.

Where's that coming from?

And begin to evaluate.

I'm feeling like God's not even present.

He doesn't even care.

And let me evaluate that.

Is it true that God is Not present.

No, it's not true.

He is present with me and he's promised his presence.

Is it true that he doesn't care?

No, that's not true.

The scripture is very clear that God daily bears our burdens.

First Peter 5, 7.

Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you.

Yes, God personally cares for you, his child.

He loves you and cares about you.

And so I need to keep a truth filter in my mind and not allow thoughts, random thoughts, to just stay up there.

I don't need to be constantly responding to these negative thoughts and negative feelings without monitoring them and putting them through a truth filter.

You know, Paul talks about this when he says, take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

What he was talking about is keeping a truth filter in place.

Is this true?

Is it from God?

Is it real?

Is it what I need to follow?

I tell pastors all the time, don't rent out your head to thoughts that don't need to be there.

So you know, it's so important when, when you're having these thoughts, these negative discouraging thoughts and thoughts that come into your mind that say, well, why don't you just quit?

Why don't you throw up your hands and walk away?

Those kinds of thoughts need to be monitored and you can't simply allow them to stay there.

You've got to ask yourself, is that true?

Where is it coming from and should I act upon it?

And monitoring your thoughts and bringing those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ?

What's the truth here?

Can I get back to the truth and anchor my soul to the truth of God's word?

Well, isn't that just going back to your point of having a small group of people, These are people that can come alongside you to help make sure your truth filter continues to stay clean.

I know we had this past summer because we were home, we had a pool that someone had given to us that we'd set up in the yard and we had a filter and that filter would fill up pre pretty quick and we couldn't get them.

At the time we were having a hard time.

They were coming from China and there was a difficulty getting things from China where they were outrageously expensive.

So we were just taking time to take a hose to clean it off so that it continued to work for us.

And I find that with myself I was busy doing other projects and my brother in law was really good at cleaning pools.

He grew up with it, so he would clean it off every day.

And in many ways that's what you're saying the these small groups come alongside us to help us keep our truth filter clean so that our lives don't turn green and just filled with bacteria, spiritual bacteria, if you will.

Because that's really true.

We need those other people that come alongside us with the word of God because we believe lies so easily that we really do need someone to help us in our time with God.

So, Robert, we're coming closer to the end of our time for today, but I want just you to give us a word on what we can do to really take time for soul care.

I mean, you've given us a lot of practical things that we can do, but what are the first steps that we need to do to take care of our souls not only during COVID but in all the time to come?

What are some of those concrete steps that we can do as a result of hearing this?

To take care of our souls?

Sure.

So let me put it in an acrostic.

The word stay, the S in stay is saturate your life with scripture.

Saturating your life with scripture.

You know, you were talking about that filter.

Every filter you have needs to be cleaned out occasionally.

And one of the best ways to clean your own truth filter is, is to wash it with the word of God.

The water of the word cleanses our minds, it cleanses our hearts.

It has a cleansing effect upon us.

So saturate your mind.

I would double my intake of the word of God.

It's one of those things that's really critical if we're going to stay healthy and if we're going to have soul care.

So that's number one.

That's the letter S in the word stay.

The letter T is take a day off, take some time off, take vacation time, unplug from ministry.

Even if you take a half a day, it would be better than not taking a day off.

And too often, I know pastors just fill up their schedules.

You know, they're going back to, back to back to back meetings.

Unfortunately, so many pastors get their sense of self worth from staying busy.

I've got to prove my worth by working really hard.

Is that where your worth comes from?

I mean, honestly, it's not from working hard.

It's from who God says you are.

That's your true worth.

And yes, I want you to work, but not to the place where you filled your schedule up and you have no margins, you have no breathing room.

So the T is take time for yourself, take time off.

Put some breathing room in your calendar.

And I like to tell pastors, take 20% of your calendar and make it uncommitted time.

That's time just for you to breathe, to relax, to reflect.

Just quiet for yourself.

It's really important.

The A in the acrostic is to appropriate who you are as a child of God.

You know, whatever else is happening, you need to remember that you belong to the Lord.

You are His.

He bought you and paid paid for you.

He bought you with his precious blood.

You are his 100%.

He knew everything about you when he purchased you.

You were his enemy when he purchased you.

So he purchased everything about you, including your reputation.

Remember who you are.

Appropriate that.

Know that you are God's church.

He'll never leave you.

He loves you.

He has good planned for you.

He is fully in control and you can trust him.

So appropriate that.

And then the why in the word stay is yield to the Holy Spirit.

That is intentionally turn your life daily over to the Holy Spirit.

Ask him to guide you.

Ask him to give you the strength that you need.

Ask him for wisdom to know how to navigate through these challenging times.

Ask him.

You know, I'm reminded of the truth in James that we don't have because we don't ask.

Ask and you will receive.

So yield to the Spirit of God and ask him for that specific guidance every single day.

That's a good word.

I love the saturate, because that's what we do here at Apollo's Watered.

We want to saturate you, saturate your faith, but saturate yourself with the things of God.

Take that time off, appropriate, and then yield.

And I love that.

That's a great word.

Robert, what are some ways that people can learn more about what you're doing and about.

How can they learn more about care for pastors?

Do you guys have a podcast, a way to contact you, or how can they direct their pastor to you to learn more about this wonderful ministry that you're doing?

Sure, Travis.

One of the best ways they can do that is go to our website.

That's careforpastors.org that's all spelled out lowercase, careforpastors.org and if they'll reach out to us, they can see there on the website the resources that we provide, the counseling, mentoring, encouragement, prayer, support, ministry to pastors, to their wives, to their kids.

They can read all about that on the website.

Our podcast is called you are Worthy, and it's on on every Thursday.

Sorry, it's on one Thursday a month, the third Thursday of the month.

The podcast you are worthy and they can learn about care for people.

Pastors there, tell them to reach out to us.

You can put your pastor in touch with us.

Just tell him to reach out to our website.

He can send us an email.

We'll respond to him and encourage him.

And lastly, I'd like to ask you to pray not just for the pastors out there, but for all the people that are really struggling, taking care of their souls and that want to take that step and want to stay in the way that you mentioned.

But they just need that extra help.

And I want to ask you to pray for everyone that's listening so that God might use them and help them take that step to take care of their soul.

Would you do that for us?

Yeah, I'd be glad to.

Heavenly Father, thank you for being our faithful God.

We know that you are on your throne and in control today and we put our trust in you.

Our hope, hope is in you today, dear Father, I pray for all of those who are listening and just ask that you comfort them with your presence.

I pray for those particularly who are fearful and anxious, who are just wondering what in the world they're going to do, who are confused and deeply concerned, troubled in their souls.

Lord, would you just reveal yourself as the God of peace?

Would you give peace to our hearts and minds?

Help us as we struggle through this, Lord.

Help us to keep our eyes on you and help us to keep our focus on you.

We know that you're a God of truth and we pray that you'll help us to be grounded, rooted and grounded in in the truth.

May our spiritual roots grow deep into Christ and draw nourishment from him for our souls.

Lord, I pray that you'll help people to take care of themselves, to practice healthy habits.

I pray that you'll help us to connect with people, to have face to face meetings, to really encourage one another.

Help us to speak words of life, hope and healing, grace, truth and blessing.

Help us to have our mouths filled with those kinds of words so we can be a blessing to other people.

And Lord, help us most of all to trust you.

Especially when we don't understand when things are going crazy and it seems like the whole world has gone mad.

Help us to put our trust in you, to find a place of rest in you.

We need your presence.

We need your protection.

Would you be a shield about us in body, mind and spirit?

Shield us from the attacks of the evil one and direct our hearts into the love of God and into the steadfast of Jesus Christ?

We pray in his great and wonderful name.

Amen.

Amen.

Thank you, Robert and I would encourage anyone out there that is knows their pastor needs some time or needs someone to talk to to just to direct them.

I know that Robert would love to be able to chat with you.

And Robert again.

Thank you for coming on the show today and we look forward to talking to you again.

Great, great being with you, Travis.

Thanks so much.

Take care.

That was my conversation with Dr.

Robert White as we were talking about soul care and I really did enjoy that acronym stay and I hope that stays with you.

Saturate yourself with the word of God, take a day off, appropriate Christ's identity as your own, and then yield to the Holy Spirit.

That's something that we can all hold on to during these difficult times.

I also want to encourage you to go check out care for pastors or refer a pastor to care for pastors.

Let him know that you're praying for him.

Let him know that you care for him and you just want to make sure to see that he is blessed and that he might grow in his relationship with Jesus Christ.

Well, today's episode was brought to you by Cathy Brothers of Keller Williams and Evate.

If you're looking to buy or sell a home in the Chicagoland area, then you need to call Cathy Brothers of Keller Williams Innovate and her team.

I said it before, she comes with years of experience.

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That's Kathy Brothers of Keller Williams Innovate.

Tell her Travis sent you.

That's it for today folks.

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This is Travis Michael Fleming signing off from Apollo's Watered.

Stay watered, everybody.